吉尔写的是一个对她有重大影响的人。她的回答适用于常见的申请论文选项5：“讨论一项成就、事件或认识，这些成就、事件或认识激发了一段时间的个人成长，并对自己或他人有了新的认识。”

当你读这篇文章的时候，注意到这篇文章不仅仅是关于影响吉尔的那个女人。吉尔利用她与一位意志坚强、难以相处的女性的互动，向招生人员透露她个人成长中的一个重要时刻。

常见申请论文范本

"Buck Up" by Jill Susan Lewis is a woman that very few people would consider a role model for anything. A fifty-something high-school dropout, she has little more to her name than a beat-up truck, a Jack Russell Terrier and a ragtag herd of aging and/or neurotic horses with which she's run a largely unsuccessful riding lesson program for twenty years with no business plan to speak of and little hope of ever turning a profit. She curses like a sailor, is perpetually un-punctual, and has an erratic and often terrifying temper. I've taken weekly riding lessons with Sue since middle school, often against my own better judgment. Because for all her seemingly unredeemable qualities, she inspires me - not necessarily as a person I'd strive to emulate, but simply for her unwavering perseverance. In the five years I've known her, I've never once seen her give up on anything. She would sooner go hungry (and sometimes does) than give up on her horses and her business. She sticks to her guns on every issue, from political views to hay prices to her (frankly terrible) business model. Sue has never once given up on herself or her horses or her business, and she never gives up on her students. My dad lost his job not long after I started high school, and horseback riding quickly became a luxury we couldn't afford. So I called Sue to tell her that I wouldn't be riding for a while, at least until my father was back on his feet. I hadn't expected an outpouring of sympathy (Sue, as you may have guessed, isn't an overwhelmingly sympathetic person), but I certainly wasn't expecting her to yell at me, either. Which was exactly what happened. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was ridiculous for thinking that money should stop me from doing something I loved, and she would see me bright and early Saturday morning regardless, and if she had to drive me to the barn herself that she would, and I'd better be wearing a good pair of boots because I'd be working off my lessons until further notice. Her refusal to give up on me said more than I could ever put into words. It would have been easy for her to just let me leave. But Sue was never a person to take the easy way out, and she showed me how to do the same. I worked harder in Sue's barn that year than I'd ever worked before, earning every minute of my riding time, and I'd never felt more proud of myself. In her own stubborn way, Sue had shared with me an invaluable lesson in perseverance. She may not be much of a role model in any other respect, but Susan Lewis does not give up, and I strive every day to live by her example.

吉尔公共应用文评析

你能从这篇文章的写作中学到什么？这篇文章很有趣，而且写得很吸引人，但是这篇文章对于普通申请论文来说效果如何？

文章的题目

标题是读者看到的第一件事。一个好的标题可以立刻激起读者的好奇心，吸引他们的注意力。标题框和重点放在后面的单词上。一个失去的头衔是一个失去的机会，而一个虚弱的头衔是一个直接的障碍。不幸的是，想出一个好的标题可能非常困难。

吉尔的标题“Buck Up”很好，因为它使用了“Buck”这个词。一方面，这篇文章是关于马的。另一方面，它用短语“振作起来”来表示“表现出一些勇气或勇气”。这种游戏性在标题中很有效。

然而，“振作起来”确实有一些缺点。也就是说，读者并不完全清楚这篇文章是关于什么的。招生人员可能最终会欣赏这个标题，但只有在他们读了这篇文章之后。一个只有在回顾中才有意义的标题显然并没有为读者准备好这篇文章。

文章的重点

通过关注苏珊·刘易斯（Susan Lewis），一个在很多方面都不讨人喜欢的人，这篇文章并不典型，它表明作者能够从一个有很多负面影响的人身上识别出积极的一面。大学录取通知书的读者会对作者表现出的创造性和开放的思想印象深刻。这篇文章充分说明了苏珊·刘易斯对作者的影响，使她欣赏勤奋和毅力。这是作者步入成年的重要一步。

另外，思考一下这篇文章更广泛的含义。如果一个青少年能够认识到像苏珊·刘易斯这样不讨人喜欢的人的积极品质，那么这个学生在寄宿学校也可能表现出色，在那里不同的个性被紧密地结合在一起。

文章的语调

在大学申请论文中，把握正确的语调可能是一个巨大的挑战。当写一个不太讨人喜欢的人时，很容易让人觉得他是在嘲笑或居高临下。这篇文章指出了苏珊·刘易斯的许多缺点，但它保持了轻松有趣的基调。结果，作者给人的印象是充满爱意和感激，而不是贬低。然而，需要一个熟练的作家才能在轻浮和严肃之间找到恰当的平衡。这是一个危险区域，你需要确保你不会陷入消极的情绪。

写作的质量

《振作起来》不是一篇完美的文章，但缺点很少。尽量避免陈词滥调或诸如“坚持自己的立场”和“重新站起来”之类的陈词滥调，还有一些小的语法错误。

吉尔在文章的风格方面做得很好。叙述有各种令人愉悦的句子类型，从短而有力到长而复杂。语言诙谐、引人入胜，吉尔在短短几段中为苏珊·刘易斯画了一幅丰富的肖像画，表现令人钦佩。

每一句话和每一段都为这篇文章增添了重要的细节，读者永远不会觉得吉尔在浪费篇幅，浪费了一堆不必要的绒毛。这一点很重要：普通申请论文的字数限制为650字，不允许浪费字数。吉尔有478个单词，在长度限制内是安全的。

这里最令人钦佩的是吉尔的个性。我们能感受到她的幽默感、观察力和慷慨的精神。很多申请者觉得他们需要在申请论文中吹嘘自己的成就，然而吉尔展示了如何以一种令人愉快的低调方式来表达这些成就。

为什么大学要求申请人写论文

记住为什么大学要求申请人写论文总是很重要的。简单地说，他们希望确保你写得好，吉尔用“振作起来”有效地证明了这一点。但更重要的是，招生人员表示他们有整体招生，他们希望了解他们正在考虑录取的学生。

考试成绩和分数不能告诉一所大学你是什么类型的人，除了一个学习努力、考试成绩优秀的人。你的性格怎么样？你真正关心的是什么？你如何向他人传达你的想法？重要的一点是：你是我们想邀请的那种人，成为我们校园社区的一部分吗？这篇个人文章（连同面试和推荐信）是申请书中为数不多的几个部分之一，可以帮助招生人员了解成绩和考试分数背后的人。

吉尔的文章，不管是有意还是无意，都以对她有利的方式回答了这些问题。她表现出观察力强、关心他人、风趣幽默。她在讲述自己成长过程中表现出的自我意识。她表现出慷慨大方，在那些有很多缺点的人身上发现了积极的品质。她还透露，她从克服挑战和努力实现目标中获得乐趣。简言之，她给人的印象是一个能丰富校园社区的人。