《滚石》今早发表了一篇千字的伊隆·马斯克简介，作者、记者、励志推特人尼尔·施特劳斯撰稿，一句话，令人难以置信。

该简介包含了几十个副词，并根据马斯克的姿势、呼吸模式对其进行了广泛的心理分析，以及一个句子中间自发出现在他眼睛周围的“红圈”。它给马斯克起了几个绰号，包括“一个泰坦，一个有远见的人，一个人类大小的杠杆推动了巨大的历史必然性”和“那种一个世纪只出现过几次的人。”最重要的是，它至少奉献了1，对马斯克的浪漫生活和他最近与女演员安珀的分手说了1000个字——这是他自己提出的话题。

以下是一些要点，但我建议您通读：

Then he heaves a sigh and ends his effort at composure. "I just broke up with my girlfriend," he says hesitantly. "I was really in love, and it hurt bad."

He pauses and corrects himself: "Well, she broke up with me more than I broke up with her, I think."

施特劳斯则似乎完全忘记了他正在采访“一个巨人，一个有远见的人，一个人类大小的杠杆”，开始给他提供恋爱方面的建议。

Musk discusses the breakup for a few more minutes, then asks, earnestly, deadpan, "Is there anybody you think I should date? It's so hard for me to even meet people." He swallows and clarifies, stammering softly, "I'm looking for a long-term relati***hip. I'm not looking for a one-night stand. I'm looking for a serious companion or soulmate, that kind of thing."

I eventually tell him that it may not be a good idea to jump right into another relati***hip. He may want to take some time to himself and figure out why his previous relati***hips haven't worked in the long run: his marriage to writer Justine Musk, his marriage to actress Talulah Riley, and this new breakup with actress Amber Heard.

施特劳斯似乎担心马斯克的孤独，但似乎并不担心他在一个亿万富翁的档案中有点偏离轨道，他想把人类送上火星。

Musk shakes his head and grimaces: "If I'm not in love, if I'm not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy."

I explain that needing someone so badly that you feel like nothing without them is textbook codependence.

在这一部分的简介，当一个不同的记者（也许？谁能说！）施特劳斯可能会考虑指出这种互动是多么奇怪，他这样描述马斯克的举止：“僵硬，然而在他眼睛的光泽和嘴唇的颤抖中，可以看到情绪的**，推着挡土墙。”

最后，施特劳斯想象了有一天会出现在火星上的麝香雕像，他希望这座雕像不是字面意义上的麝香，而是隐喻意义上的“模糊熊”——麝香。