“英语？谁需要它？我永远不会去英国！”

呜呜！霍默·辛普森先生大口大口喝啤酒、炸面圈家长、核电站安全检查员和斯普林菲尔德的常驻修辞家的不朽话语。事实上，荷马对英语的贡献远远超过了流行的“D'OH”。让我们来看看其中一些丰富的贡献，并沿途回顾一些修辞术语。

荷马的反问句

从辛普森家庭研讨会上讨论这种交流：

Mother Simpson: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Homer: Seven. Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question. Homer: OK, eight. Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means? Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?

事实上，荷马逻辑的表达往往依赖于一个反问句：

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin . . . but what good does that do me?

荷马最喜欢的一种特殊类型的反问是情色，这个问题暗示着强烈的肯定或否定：“甜甜圈，有什么他们不能做的吗？”

荷马的修辞手法

尽管有时被误判为一个十足的白痴，荷马实际上是一个巧妙的矛盾修饰语操纵者：“哦，巴特，别担心，人们总是会死。事实上，你可能明天醒来就死了。”而我们最喜欢的嘲讽方式实际上是非常方便的修辞手法。例如，为了解释人类行为，他依靠人格化：

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Chiasmus引导荷马达到自我理解的新水平：

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me--so let's just do this, and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

在这里，仅仅用了五个字，他就成功地将撇号和三角号结合在一起，发出了由衷的鼓励：“电视！老师，妈妈，秘密情人。”

当然，荷马并不总是熟悉这些经典人物的名字：

Lisa: That's Latin, Dad--the language of Plutarch. Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog?

但别窃笑了，丽莎：普鲁塔克的语言是希腊语。

辛普森重复道

就像古希腊和罗马的伟大演说家一样，荷马用重复来唤起悲情并强调要点。例如，在这里，他将苏珊·海沃德（Susan Hayward）的精神寓于一个令人窒息的回指中：

I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I’m sick of eating hoagies! I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero! I want to LIVE, Marge! Won’t you let me live? Won’t you, please?”

Epizeuxis传达了一个永恒的荷马真理：

When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always wanting more . . . more . . . MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return.

Polytoton带来了一个深刻的发现：

Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?

荷马式论点

荷马的修辞转向，特别是他通过类比进行论证的努力，有时会走一些奇怪的弯路：

• 儿子，女人很像。冰箱！它们大约六英尺高，300磅重。他们制冰，而且。嗯。哦，等一下。事实上，女人更像啤酒。
• 儿子，女人就像啤酒。它们闻起来很香，看起来也很好，你会跨过你自己的母亲去买一个！但你不能一点就停下来。你想喝另一个女人！
• 孩子们，核反应堆很像女人。你只需阅读手册并按下正确的按钮。
• 名声就像毒品。但更像毒品的是毒品。

是的，辛普森先生偶尔会遇到文字上的挑战，就像在强调这一独特的荷马式祈祷词时所使用的“不恰当”语：

Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean . . . our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French, but they act like savages! Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of course you did. You're everywhere, you're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did you spite me with this family?

想想荷马的古怪（或可能是诵读困难）使用的下音节（提出问题并回答它们）：“什么是婚礼？Webster的字典把它描述为从花园里除草的行为。”然后他的思想就崩溃了，然后他才能把它放在句子的末尾，如在这种情况下：

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba--uh, goodnight.

修辞大师

但在很大程度上，荷马·辛普森是一位巧妙而深思熟虑的修辞家。首先，他自称是语言讽刺大师：

Owww, look at me, Marge, I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane! . . . By the way I was being sarcastic.

他用脱口而出来表达智慧：

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.

所以下次你在电视上看到《辛普森一家》时，看看你是否能找出这些修辞概念的其他例子。