你醒来的房间看起来像你的房间，但它不是你的房间。你自动的日常程序遵循它的良好路径，畅通无阻，但这一天是不同的。你的婴儿蓝棉床单已经被一个蓬松的，复古的赫特人贾巴棉被取代，你的圆点浴帘换成了被困在碳酸岩中的汉索洛的塑料印刷品。当你在厨房里寻找咖啡研磨机时，你不小心捡到了一个披萨切割器，如果你交叉眼睛看，它看起来像R2-D2。晚上，你惊恐地盯着你的手，发现它们已经被巨大的，星球大战许可证的信用卡所取代，用于最大限度地消费。

但你听到客厅里传来一阵轻柔的噼啪声。圣诞的暖意在大厅的角落里回荡，你跟着它走，相信这个节日和它闪烁的装饰会让你从星球大战的狂热中解脱出来。当然，你认为，有人不会为了粗俗的消费主义而扭曲圣诞节。

你看到它在电视上咆哮。你愚蠢的五小时圣诞日志DVD已被替换为五小时达斯维德燃烧在一个葬礼柴堆。你跪下，举起你的信用卡双手，然后尖叫。

更新12月16日，10:45下午：我收到了一封来自读者内特琼斯关于这个故事的标题的真实性电子邮件。虽然标题将保持不变，为清晰和简单起见，我已请求琼斯允许发表他的深思熟虑的电子邮件全文在这里。他欣然同意了。谢谢你，奈特！

Chris, First let me say this is hilarious, and I will be subtly be playing this at family Christmas parties in the upcoming weeks. However I have to point out that this was not Darth Vader's "corpse". In my understanding, a corpse is a dead body and evident in the mythology of Star Wars, when a Jedi dies, there is miraculously no corpse. The body disappears to become one with the Force and return as a Blue Force Ghost. (ref. Obi-wan Kenobi Ep. IV & Yoda Ep. VI, NOT Quinn-Gon Jinn in Ep. I) Luke was burning the remains of Darth Vader's suit after the final hour redemption and death of his father Anakin Skywalker. It's a powerful symbol, destroying the iconic suit of the greatest intergalactic villain of their time. The good Anakin has moved on and the old evil remains are destroyed by fire. (Except maybe not completely as we see teased in trailers for the Force Awakens). So I humbly suggest that you change the title to "Five Hours of Darth Vader's burning suit will replace your Yule Log". Thank you and may the Force be with you, always.

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